Updated: Feb 15, 2020
As I approach my 61st revolution around the sun in a few weeks I feel the emergence of a statement that even a few short years ago would have been unthinkable for me. As a Cancerian I've lived a large portion of my life as a people pleaser where harsh criticism would see me scuttle back into my shell. I would perceive it is as a slant on my good character, feel misunderstood and then try and build some form of defence or rather justification for whatever it is I was supposed to have done. Even with my many years of accumulated healing and spiritual knowledge, it didn't do much to dislodge this often reactionary response to dislikes, slants or other forms of rebuttal to something I said, did, commented on or some behaviour I supposedly enacted. It probably all stems from the shouting and bullying from my father during my early formative years, but I have long since stopped concerning myself with that. I have healed the past and that is not my concern. But the future... ah, well that's another thing. To let go of this outdated behaviour pattern is a big deal. Of course, close friends and others who know me may not even be aware of this quiet turmoil that has underscored much of my adult life. I know I have some truly supportive people and friends I can count on and trust with my innermost thoughts. But ultimately any change happens within. I know that in the deepest part of me I have to throw the shackles off so I can finally embrace who I am - and stop apologising for it!! So now - to quote Bob Dylan - "the times they are a changing.."
Writing and facilitating my Day of the Crone and many of my other workshops has really helped me in creating my statement. Feedback from these has helped me take time to reflect on what it is others see in me that I do not sometimes recognise in myself. It's been an extremely cathartic process and I'm grateful for everyone who has been part of this journey, even though you don't know who you are. You've given me the necessary courage to be emboldened in creating my statement.
My Crone Statement
With ceremonial intent, this is my Rite of Passage to birthing the real Diana. My name is linked to the Roman goddess of wild animals and the hunt; in Greece I was known as Artemis, and was originally associated with being a woodland goddess. I possess memory from past lives including being a Druid Priestess on Anglesey during the final battle with the Romans where I ranked alongside men; I've also been part of indigenous cultures and have cultural spirit guides. I KNOW things that defy explanation. To live and embrace all my glorious authentic, messy, contradictory, wild, emotional soul; to follow my deep intuitive nudges that may take me on wondrous journeys of self discovery, new places, present challenges and sometimes blockages to overcome is to do so at the risk of your disapproval. I do not need your validation of my life, my thoughts, or my behaviour. These things belong to me, not you. We may not always agree and I'm ok with that. So I will not go quietly in the night anymore. I will continue to defend and protect the rape of Mother Earth. I will continue to empower others in their spiritual understanding and journey. I claim my Inner Crone and embrace her for who she really is. I acknowledge, rejoice and give thanks for every part of me. Diana, stardate 14062019